Alright, so you’ve hit a road block. Everyone does. Without meaning to trivialize your problems or sound preachy,  the question is what do you intend to do about it?

Success doesn’t come from having a supremely irritating cheerful optimism day in and day out. It can get rather annoying to sit next to an incessantly cheerful person without the thought going through your head, whether you can equally cheerfully throttle him/her.

Success however, comes from acknowledging the reality of the situation you are in, understanding you are stuck and there’s something that you are doing wrong and you don’t know what. So how do you proceed ?

  1. Accept that somethings are out of your control. But by no means allow that to become an excuse! Rework your plan. Be flexible to allow for time-eaters, time-wasters and time-swallowers.
    How do we differentiate between the three?
    Time- wasters: Completely non-value added work. Could this have been attended to at another time? Would the world have stood still if it was taken care of a little later?
    Time-eaters: Necessary, but non-value added. Solving other’s difficulties, answering other’s doubts over and over again, when you could have utilized that time for your own self.
    Time- swallowers: Whoops! where did I just spend 4 hours? The internet and its siren-like call ! You start off googling the answer to one question and before you know it, you have gone from click to click from buzz feed to FB updates to Wikipedia and around the world and back. Phileas Fogg and Jean Passepartout had it easy; they took 80 days.. You, my friend, managed the trip in 4 hours!
    So instead of beating yourself up and feeling guilty, here’s what you do.

  2. Understand that with entitlement comes hard work.
    You know you deserve the best. My friend, you have to work for it. The world is your oyster and the opportunities are tremendous. But they will not be offered on a platter. All the tools in the world will only work up to a certain extent. The actual results come with the work you put in. You can never meet a successful or confident person who hasn’t been a workaholic.
    Hard work pays off in many ways. Along with the discipline, it brings with it, the joy of having done a job well.
  3. Take the plunge.
    Be brave! Tackle the tough subjects first. Once they are out of the way and you are riding on the wave of accomplishment, the easier ones will be a cinch!

No man is an island

No man is an island

No man stands alone

Each man’s joy is joy to me

Each man’s grief is my own.

We need one another

So I will defend

Each man as my brother

Each man as my friend.

These beautiful lyrics by Joan Baez sum up the beauty of community. One can’t go through life even imagining that one is all alone. Even for those who claim to be self-made individuals, they too wouldn’t have got there had it not been for the invisible blessings of well-wishers guiding their paths. In our deepest moments of despair, we tend to think that we have been abandoned. But who knows whose life you might have touched like the lightest flutter of butterfly wings? whose day you might unknowingly brightened with a cheerful ‘Kya dost/bhai/chele?’

In a world with rapidly disappearing boundaries, instant connectivity, relationship apps, break-up apps, food apps, sleep apps…. apps for every conceivable interaction known to man, the most important app is missing – the 3 C app – Community, connection and Conversation.

Your problems are similar to so many who have either gone through, are going through and at some point in the future will go through them. Build a group of different personalities and attitudes.. you will learn by observing the diversity of the group and their approach to various situations. That’s the same diversity that built our nation.

Know your strengths. Surround yourself with people who see the same strengths in you. It is an exercise in futility trying to explain yourself to a person who sees somethng totally different in you and cannot reconcile to your thoughts.

Push yourself to greater lengths than you thought you could handle. The human mind tends to achieve what it believes and then conceives. This is self-fulfilling whether negative or positive. What would you prefer to do?

Identify your goal: it is a pointless endeavour to start doing something without knowing why you are doing it or where you are going with it.

Face your obstacles: It is highly unlikely that the job you have undertaken will not have any hurdles. The key is not to get bogged down by them but to face them, segregate them into ‘need more effort’, ‘need external help’ and ‘need to re-design strategy’ boxes.

Set Deadlines: Stay on track. With the million distractors available, it is easy to go off track. Set reminders to bring your focus back to the task at hand. And plod on with the end in sight!

Read stories of great people: The human race is more alike than un-alike. Almost everyone has faced hurdles of sorts. Some have written exceptional personal stories of grit and determination. Reading them for inspiration will not only give you food for thought but may also give you a new approach. We are all hum-suffers!

Reward yourself: Acknowledge your efforts even if no one else does. You know what you are capable of. Give yourself a pat on the back for every milestone reached. You deserve it!

Dont stop for nothing, Its full speed or nothing

I’m taking down you know whatever’s in my way – Metallica

 

So you failed? Good! Nothing teaches a lesson quicker and faster than failure. And how is that, you ask? Because however, cliched it may sound, falling off a horse and /or getting kicked in the rear teaches you to be 1) faster than the horse or 2) quicker than the damn beast and 3) hold on tight!

Now how to overcome failure …

1: Be honest with yourself – Either you tried your best or you didn’t. Get self-deception out of the way. It is not the end of the world. Once you’ve done that, the rest is easy-peasy.

If you tried your best and failed, then there is something else that might have worked and all you’ve got to do it figure it out.

If you didn’t try your best – well then, the answer’s already there!

2: Know that this too shall pass… the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Take that step now. Use this opportunity to grow as an individual. Learn from the mistakes and don’t repeat them.

3: Ask for help. There is no shame or loss of pride in it. Once you’ve reached the bottom of the well, the only way is up!

Listen to songs that rev up your spirits! Metallica has this totally Kick-A** song, lyrics of which form the title of this post. Go ahead, pick yourself up and forge ahead!

Today’s post will be a poem on courage.

Three kinds of courage
There is the courage that nerves you in starting the climb.
The mount of success rising sheer
And when you’ve slipped back
there’s that courage sublime
that keeps you from shedding a tear.
There two kinds of courage – I give you my word
Are worthy of tribute – but then
you’ll not reach the summit
unless you have the third. That is-
The courage to try-it-again.